The significance of dancing around trees

In the 1920s the world saw the emergence of an Industry that became synonymous with American Cinema. Hollywood was born. Although a district in LA, California, the mere mention of Hollywood results in flashes which range from Julie Andrews crooning atop a mountain to Optimus Prime having a metal orgasm every time he sees the “Cube”. Suffice to say Hollywood spoilt us and left in its shadows a slew of imitators. Perhaps the one that comes closest to matching the exuberance of Hollywood and surpasses it when it comes to dishing out movies every month is the very innovatively titled Bollywood – Bombay movie industry. 

Ever since its inception, Bollywood has single handedly led the world outside to believe that we Indians break into a song and dance routine at the drop of a hat, shout at the skies in anguish and curse the lord when our dog dies. We are basically ballet dancers on Speed. The phrase “leave your brain at home” was coined, I believe, when the first ever review for a Bollywood flick was written. No wonder the world loves Indian Cinema.  A majority of the movies are loud, colorful, and totally moronic. This is a step up from Hollywood wherein the absurdity level is kept a few notches below the threshold that causes brain hemorrhage. The higher powers which govern this industry have struck a chord with the general public. A popular movie sees the crowd line up outside the ticket counters as if money was being given to watch the movie rather than the other way around. 

What people living in India are unaware of is the effect Bollywood has had on the outside world. I knew what the general notion was about Indian Cinema. But the magnitude of it dawned on me while working abroad for the last 4 years. While working in Frankfurt my Indian stature was established by remarking “oh land of bollywood….Shah Rukh Khan”. I heard the same line being used in Jakarta as well. For a self respecting Indian nothing is more offensive than being referenced using Shah Rukh Khan…a guy who has hammed his way into the hearts of millions of girls. This is the guy whose idea of emoting is opening his arms wide and looking up at the sky. This is done to express love, lust, anger or the intense urge to empty his bowels. After talking to a few individuals I realized that one particular movie seems to be very popular amongst the locals - 3 idiots. It is based on a pathetic best seller and has not one original idea in its entirety. It is thus our equivalent of “Da Vinci Code”, a book which features on everybody’s “I’ve read the following novel” list and ends there. Filled with jokes that got stale over internet forwards, moments of pure unintentional hilarity and that obnoxious dialogue “all izz well”. You know the retard quotient has hit a new high when people start quoting that line endlessly…sometimes without context. Makes me want to recycle the lunch I just had.  

It’s a sad day for the movie industry when genuinely good movies are ignored for yawn inducing fares with age old dramatic platitudes. This is because the wrong kind of movies are advertised and distributed worldwide. It doesn’t surprise me since there is a massive market for it. It is easier to get lost amidst chaos then contemplate subtle actions; it is easier to entertain than it is to entice the mind. This formula has been used endlessly to shovel well packaged crap. And as long as the general public ingests such movies, the industry will keep churning them. Cinema can be a source of inspiration, magic, art and can have the ability to imitate life itself while maintaining the basic need of being entertaining.  But something somewhere has been lost amidst the explosions, laughter and exaggerated emotions. Anyway, I have to have a second look at the nuances of crap presented so eloquently in “Delhi Belly”. Till then…all izz well.